Friday, January 9, 2009

A Stupid will.i.am Moment


He's actually not a terrible producer.

So I got the family copy of Time in the mail, and this week's edition of their idiotic feature, 10 Questions, where Time readers ask celebrities 10 stupid questions and get 10 stupid and/or evasive answers (Question: What do you think about gangsta rap and its message? Answer: Modern-day gangsta rap is cool. Some stuff I like. Some I don't) is with will.i.am. Oh goodie. You know, I remember him doing this insanely retarded interview after the "Yes We Can" video dropped, but I didn't know the guy was this stupid. Pay attention.

"What does the future hold for the Black Eyed Peas?
Nikko Carlson
Chapel Hill, N.C.

will.i.am: Better question: What does the future hold for music as a whole? If I tell my 7-year-old cousin when she's older," Hey, do you know Virgin?" She'll be like, "Yeah, I'm still a virgin." She's not going to know that at one point in time Virgin was a record store, because everything is changing.

Let me repeat that.




Hey, do you know Virgin?









(William's cousin): Yeah, I'm still a virgin.








Like, aside from the fact that, you know, why would you randomly ask your cousin if they know about a record store that went out of business before they were old enough to know about it, does this cousin have some kind of mental deficiency he's not telling us about? Maybe the same one will.i.am has? Because her hypothetical response just makes no sense as a matter of basic grammar. Questions of the "do you know _____" format aren't supposed to get "I'm still a ____" answers. And besides, what adolescent girl randomly volunteers to her middle-aged male cousin that she's a virgin? This is like if in 2018, Juicy Couture has gone out of business, and will.i.am, curious about how women's fashion is going and unaware that Juicy is dead, says to his cousin, "hey, do you know Juicy" and the cousin, instead of saying "What's Juicy" like every non-retarded person would, goes, "um, I have a juicy ass." Like what the fuck. I think it's profoundly telling that a guy who clearly suffers from some kind of mental disability produced the title track on Hip Hop Is Dead.

3 comments:

Jesus Shuttlesworth said...

buckwheat as his cousin: cold, but great.

what did you expect from the guy who made that terrible song with macy gray? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r75BM-frds

Jay (d)eff Kay said...

hahaha. This dude is gonna be inescapable in the future. You can switch your radio off, but this dude's just gonna pop up in your living room via hologram. You can't fight whats in the ayerrr ayerrr ay-ay-ayerrr

I don't subscribe to Time, but I do pick it up from work and anywhere else I can cop it for free. My Favourite '10 questions' session that I've come across so far has to be the one with Magic Johnson. Did you catch that one? Considering the usually tame nature of the 10 qn forum, the readers' questions were especially vicious. They included:

a) "Do you do anything different from what is usually recommended for HIV patients?"
b) "Do you think you would be the same successful person had you not contracted HIV and retired from basketball early?"

and my personal fave

c) "How is it that are you still alive?"

All with a straight face too. so delighted that Time decided to pick and print these as being among the top 10 questions to ask Magic Johnson

tray said...

I actually google imaged cute little black girl and that was what I got. I hope his 7-year-old cousin reads this interview and asks her mom what the hell he was talking about.