Thursday, December 18, 2008

My 22 Favourite Songs, Period, Of The Year

You can almost see Nasty's wack juice rubbing off on him.

22. Wale f. Bun B and Pusha T, 'Back in The Go-Go.' I hate Lupe so much that I struggle to listen to Wale just because he sounds a little like the guy, but this is an awfully good song.

21. Ron Browz f. Jim Jones & Juelz Santana, 'Pop Champagne.' While Kanye tried to pass off his karaoke project as "art in its purest form," with all the pretentious bullshit, lyrically and musically, that that entailed, Mr. Browz just made a really fun record. The drums here are a lot better than those taiko drums everyone's fussing over on 'Love Lockdown' and those synths that hit midway through Ron's verse are really sinister. And the hook has this weird Arabic chant lilt to it. Bottom line, it's a really fun song that you have to be some real-hip-hop idiot to not like.

20. Rick Ross, 'Money Make Me Come.' I don't get why all the people who thought it was interesting and fresh when Cam rapped about women's wardrobes don't similarly find it amusing when Rick Ross goes "she don't call them purses, she call them bags/I don't know the names, I know they cost some stacks." He's really a master of the little detail. And this is the most hilariously ignorant song of the year (besides, of course, "Smell Yo Dick").

19. Van She, "Changes (G.L.O.V.E.S. Remix)." As Discobelle said, "more chilled than bangin, more fresh than noisy, this remix is sweeter than whatever is playing on your stereo right now."

18. State Property, 'Oceans Seven.' Everybody's including 'Get Busy' on their top tens. I think people just want to like the Roots but they know they really suck now, so they reach for the one song with someone who isn't boring juice, namely Peedi, on it. But why waste your time listening to the two and a half minutes of the song when Peedi isn't rapping and Black Thought's bitching about the dangers of the illadelph when you could listen to a great song with Peedi and Beans and Young Chris instead? Why?

17. Scarface, 'Emeritus.' Something about dude bores me when he's not infuriating me with that "George Bush doesn't care about black people" bullshit, but this is undeniably a great song.

16. Mariah Carey, 'I'll Be Lovin' You Long Time.' I didn't get the fuss about the Emancipation of Mimi, nothing on that album really struck me with the exception of Jada and Styles on THAT REMIX (best remix ever), but this here is quite a song. Too bad the version we were all subjected to for a few months had T.I. on it. What a boring piece of shit he is. I think the people at Slantmagazine (who generally should stick to reviewing movies) said it best when they wrote that the song "sounds like a hyperventilating cross between a graduation anthem and an early-'80s family sitcom theme song. Listening to it, I felt face to face with a couple of silver spoons: one heroin, the other grape jelly."

15. Pink, 'So What.' Great for all the other reasons millions of people have stated. If I didn't hate guitars this would be a lot higher.

14. Charles Hamilton, 'Windows Media Player.' I really like a rapper who's honest enough to make a song entirely about promoting himself. Not like some of these other garbage myspace no-names pretending to be all about the nice weather.

13. ?, 'Brooklyn Go Hard (Freestyle).' Sooner or later, someone who actually can rap will rip this beat and it'll be the mixtape moment of the year (Joell Ortiz, you so don't count, and Termanology, don't even think about it with your little overrated bitchass). I can't even imagine who that might be, but it'll happen. Until it does, though, it's just an average song.

12. Raphael Saadiq f. Jay-Z, 'Oh Girl (Remix).' There's nothing I hate more than a washed-up rapper. But when he's rapping over the work of a genius who somehow succeeded in making a retro soul record that sounds as if it could've been made in the period it's copying (sounds easy, but if it were easy to go back in time why has every post-2003 boom bap record and every black and white film made in the past 20 years sucked?), it goes down a little easier. Also, Jay's suddenly hamhanded flow suits the subject matter. It's certainly the most convincing rap he's ever done about being in love before, more so even than 'Song Cry.'

11. Soulja Boy, 'Turn My Swag On.' Great for all the reasons I've already given.

10. Kanye West, 'Robocop (Original Version).' I actually really liked this song before he tacked on that little PMS fit at the end about what a spoiled little LA girl his "girlfriend" was. Dude, pot calling the kettle effeminate.

9. Metronomy, 'Heartbreaker (Jupiter Remix),' tied with 'Heartbreaker (Kris Menace Remix).' Two incredible remixes, one very disco and upbeat and one very sad and ethereal, of the same British band's heartbreaker anthem. Gotta love the English accents.

8. Jackie Chain f. Jhi Ali, "Rollin (Diplo Remix). The debate over whether these Diplo remixes are far, far worse than the originals rages on - some aren't so great, but I love this one. It's really appropriate to rapping about popping skittles.

7. Lloyd f. Lil Wayne, "Girls Around The World." Pure candified Rakim-sampling pop.

6. Lil Wayne f. Kanye West, "Lollipop (Remix)." Just try to make an appointment with Mr. I Can't Make An Appointment. (Is that his pet name for his dick?) I love how Wayne says 'no homo' before the song even starts. Because this Lollipop shit is just that gay.

5. Soulja Boy f. Gucci Mane & Yo Gotti, "Shopping Spree (Mixtape Version)." In which three extraordinarily bad southern rappers suddenly discover talents they never knew they had over the most menacing beat I've ever heard used for a song about shopping. Like a great version of Gangstarr's 'The Mall.'*

4. Metro Station, 'Shake It.' Kinda like early Springsteen with the soaring keys and their adolescent drive to "get inside," except it's sung by a bunch of teenage faggots. Which is why they're just a one-hit-wonder and not Bruce Springsteen.

3. Katy Perry, 'Hot n' Cold.' A lot of people attack poor Katy for being homophobic, heteronormative, misognystic - so what? The bitch has a right to a man who doesn't PMS like a bitch.

2. Raheem DeVaughn f. R Kelly, 'Customer (Remix)'. Kells truly earned his self-given sobriquet 'Remix Killer' on this one. While he was on trial for pissing on a girl, he put out a remix where he croons - in a song where fast food is a metaphor for sex - that, "if you're feelin thirsty, I've got some good good lemonade." Then he disingenuously claims that he "ain't tryin to smash or outshine nobody" while proceeding to make you forget that this Raheem dude was ever on his own track. Besides the stunning pervertedness of it all, it's just a great song.

1. Young Jeezy f. Nas, 'My President Is Black.'
A song that captured the hopes and pride of a community, breaking every stupid conscious rap-cliche (you can't rap about your Lambo in a conshuz song!) along the way.

* Yes, folks, on this one song, Soulja Boy >>>> G-Dep, Gucci Mane >>>>>> Shiggy Sha, and Yo Gotti >>> Guru. And "Mr. Hankey," who produced the track >>>> Premo.

1 comment:

Badmon3333 said...

Only problem with "Lollipop" is that the beat started as a Jamaican dancehall riddim, and pretty much every one of those versions tops this.

Particularly Fambo's 'No Name':