Friday, April 23, 2010

Hoes On My Dick Cuz I Look Like Jesus



A lot of yall have probably been wondering where Lil B is going with this whole "I look like Jesus" thing. (Yeah, I don't see the resemblance either.) Before I explain, let me just say that:

Man, I'm God, I look like Jesus, and I'm coming with that fucking heater. Bitch, suck my dick

has to be the greatest ad-lib intro into a rap song in years. Anyway, when I saw this song I thought to myself, "oh my God, Lil B is clearly, like, me if I were a black teen rapper." You see, I occasionally suffer from delusions of grandeur, mostly because I'm kind of ridiculously brilliant (though you sure as fuck wouldn't know it from this blog), and have a habit of referring to myself as God or Jesus. Only around a few people, of course, as it's not really the sort of thing you want to do in public unless you're a recording artist or some other sort of professional attention whore. Of course it's basically a self-parodying joke as I don't actually believe in/care for God or Jesus, but still. Occasionally it even becomes this obsessive sort of fixation, especially after I've done something especially brilliant, and all I can think about for days is how clever and Christ-like I am. Oddly, obsessive grandiosity, physiologically speaking, feels just like a headache. Like when I get this way my head actually aches. Kind of like when John Travolta would think his autistic thoughts in Phenomenon. (Except those were the product of a magic genius-producing brain tumor. I don't believe tumors actually work that way.) Anyway, I kind of figure that Lil B is sort of on the same tip.

What's funny about Lil B, though, is that he has this deep spiritual Killa Priest side, as seen in 'I'm God' or this. That's one thing about Lil B I never see talked about amongst his blogger fans, yeah he's crazy and weird and whatever, freaky, freaky, freaky freaky flow, but he's also bringing back a kind of merger of spiritual and street shit that the Wu, among others, excelled at with their Five Percenter mumbo jumbo. One of my favorite moments in rap ever is on the largely dismal Wu-Tang Forever, 'The Projects' to be exact, where that little kid tells Rae, 'call me back at the God Hour.' There are a lot of things that you could do in 1997 that you could never do on a huge commercial release today, but one is that skit. I can sit here as an educated well-off white guy and be like, Five Percenterism is some retarded self-serving ghetto shit, but there is a wonderful empowering quality to a religion where all its adherents, mostly underprivileged people, even little kids, are all Gods. You look at rap today and back at Guru's catalogue and one thing that's missing that rap had then, besides the metaphysical concerns that album titles like The Realness or The True Meaning suggest, is religiosity. I imagine some of that is still in the underground but on the street or aboveground level, no one's really doing that anymore. Except for Lil B.

3 comments:

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I'm pretty sure that Jesus fella didn't dress like that either.

Husalah would be Lil B's main precedent (member of a Bay group; constantly comparing himself to Jesus and referencing his own alledged prettiness; lots of adlibs; a penchant for freestyled rhymes and sparse old-school, soul-sample or trance-rap production), but Lil B's insistence that he "looks like a princess" in this might just be his found-his-own-niche moment.

I still want him to rap over Aguirre 1 by Popul Vuh and pepper Kinski quotes with his own trademark adlibs :

"If I, Lil B, want the birds to drop dead from the trees... then the birds will drop dead from the trees. I am the wrath of god, BASED GOD, BITCH, SUCK THIS PRETTY MARTIAN DICK, BITCH, OR GET HIT UP WITH THE WRATCHET, BITCH!"

Asher said...

Hmm, I need to listen to Husalah. I did just want to correct myself, there is still tons of spirituality in street-level rap, but it's all of the G-Side "sometimes I want to thank God for my meager fortune" variety, or like, the Rich Boy "when I was poor and broke I would pray to God that I wouldn't get shot while doing a drug deal" variety, as opposed to, you know, something more spiritually spiritual.

Unknown said...

This is so disrespectful. In a church????.....really? And the riCOCKulous grandma earrings??? This is NOT, I repeat NOT hip-hop!