Sunday, February 1, 2009

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Pharrell and Other Odds and Ends

No homo @ my google imaging "hot boys."

You know, I'd like a Hot Boys reunion as much as anyone, but I'd like it to involve the real Hot Boys, not prissy little Virginian superproducers pretending to be the Hot Boys, you know? (Too much you know but whatever.) Which is why I was very puzzled to hear this new Lil Wayne/Pharrell collabo in which Pharrell pretends to be Juvenile and accuses an unnamed 'nigga' of being "snitchy snitchy, bitchy bitchy." Rich coming from an androgynous guy who's probably never seen any crimes to even snitch about. Please, Pharrell, stop this Frank Caliendo champagne campaign. That's Wayne, Big, and Juvie who've you've mimicked in the past few months. Who will you pretend to be next, Pac? I wouldn't be surprised. Also, Wayne's verse is really subpar and the only good part of it is when he borrows a line from Jeezy's verse on the "They Know" remix.

In less depressing news, that delightful Ciara single now has an equally delightful video. Particularly welcome is Cici's discovery of the push-up bra. Not so welcome is Jeezy posing in a grown man dress shirt and grown man beard as he delivers his impossibly shitty grown man verse. You know, I was kidding when I said that today's Jeezy has way more in common with today's Common than people think, but I'm starting to see how right I was.

Finally, are you all aware of the new "Stanky Legg" dance craze? With this song and video, you can relive the joys of vintage Dem Franchize Boyz. Seriously this is a real throwback in more ways than one. Like when was the last time you saw a southern dance video where the rappers played basketball in a high school gym? That's a very 2003-05 look. I'm also all about those big yellow distressed capital letters that encourage you to "DO THE STANKY LEGG."


bding7 said...

why is pharrell calling himself the Metatron? also, he just sucks. i think the Fader is right that Fam-Lay obviously wrote this. and i would much rather hear him say "snitchy, snitchy/ prob'ly act bitchy, bitchy" than this fool. he's too suburban/old/rich for me to be entertained or almost convinced.

and why are these two doing songs together?

tray said...

I actually thought that Pharrell was great on his DJ Drama tape, don't see why he needs to imitate other rappers and have his shit written for him. He is pretty good at it though, at least in a "I can totally recognize which rapper he's trying to sound like" way.

bding7 said...

He is pretty good at it though, at least in a "I can totally recognize which rapper he's trying to sound like" way.

yea, i guess so, but it's very hard for me to separate his persona on these records as a wannabe kingpin of whatever from his previous incarnation as just a horny weirdo. it's certainly nowhere near as bad as the beyonce posing you talked about (and i agree with), but i get a similar feeling

tray said...

Hmm... I thought on the Drama tape/In My Mind he was doing a rich producer kingpin schtick and it worked, and particularly notable in this regard was that Show You How To Hustle song where he started telling this story about selling work and confessed at the end of the first verse that it never happened. On these songs my problem isn't so much what's being said as this bizarre borrowing of other rappers' voices and flows without even, you know, a little name-check to let you know that it's just some kind of playful exercise.