Sunday, November 14, 2010

You (DMX Voice) Can't Be Serious

From this Sunday's NY Times Magazine article on white neo-neo-soul singers:

Like Hawthorne, Reed was a white middle-class Jewish kid (real name: Eli Husock). He started out listening to country and early rock ’n’ roll; most of the music played at his bar mitzvah was gangsta rap like N.W.A. and Gravediggaz.

You have to admire the writer stupid/ignorant enough to believe this guy's story. What N.W.A. songs did he play at his Bar Mitzvah? 'Something 2 Dance 2'? Maybe 'Express Yourself,' with its righteous say-no-to-drugs message? 'Days of Wayback' would work well in a DJ set with Joni Mitchell's 'Circle Game.' And what about Gravediggaz? 'Diary of a Madman,' perhaps? I bet the intro got all the Jewish grandmothers up from their seats:

[Lady] They killed my baby... oh god they killed my baby
[Judge] Order in the court
[Lady] I will make you pay for this you murderers
[Judge] I said order in the court now! Now, before this
court passes judgment, will the four defendants
please rise and approach the bench
[Lawyer] Trust me guys, it's all under control
the judge is my uncle, he'll take the
insanity plea...oh yeah, don't forget
my retainer balance
[Judge] Okay, I understand you guys are pleading insanity
claiming demonic spirits possessed you to do
these hideous murders. Can you please explain
to the court how these so called spirits made
you into these RAVING MADMEN?!?!

Actually that's pretty funny and light-spirited.

1 comment:

Passion of the Weiss said...

Yeah, that story could only be written by a writer who has never listened to the Gravediggaz. I can't imagine Oma getting down with "1-800 Suicide" or "2 Cups of Blood."

I tried to get the DJ at mine to play "Rapper's Delight" for the moment when you enter. He didn't have it. Something tells me that random Bar-Mitzvah DJ in Ann Arbor didn't have a stash of wax full of Frukwan B-sides.