Monday, November 9, 2009

Larry and Mariah Go Back Like Babies and Pacifiers (Blogging LKL Pt. 2)

The thing about Larry and really big-name female celebrities is that he's friends with all of them. It's weird but true. So anytime he has some really famous woman on above the age of 30, it's not going to be a very funny episode because he just cuddles up to them for an hour and whispers sweet nothngs in their ears. Basically. So aside from

a) Larry reciting the lyrics of 'Hero' like it was the fucking Rime of the Ancient Mariner
b) the hilarity of an old white man like Larry saying "and then along came Nick Cannon!"
c) Larry's creepy fascination with how Mariah, who he seems to think is a gorgeous woman, managed to look so ugly (as he puts it, "how about the question of playing down the looks") in her new awful overrated abuse-porn film Precious
d) Larry telling Mariah that 'Obsessed' is "pretty great... a great song"
e) the "abuse bombshell she drops exclusively to us" turning out to be a vague claim that once upon a time she was mentally and emotionally abused by a certain unnamed someone

nothing on this episode was too good. The one great part was when Larry asked Mariah to define 'diva' for him. I half-expected Mariah to calmly explain that a diva is a female version of a hustler, but she instead said that a diva is (a) a great opera singer, and (b) a difficult woman, but that today the diva concept has become diluted:

but now it's like everybody's a diva. The Cupcake Lady -- oh, the Diva of Cupcakes. You're the diva of, you know, whatever it is. It's sand, you make great sand castles. It doesn't have the same connotation.


Really, Mariah, the diva of sand? Anyway, Larry, who's honestly trying to understand what a 'diva' is, says, with a straight face:

So it lost its meaning.

Tonight, though, should be way better, because we're getting "the "DC Sniper's" ex-wives and one of his sons! One night before his scheduled execution, his first ex-wife will be there to hear his last words before he is put to death. The dark side of John Allen Muhammad revealed." I would've thought that he already revealed that dark side when he shot a ton of people.

7 comments:

awhurst011 said...

http://dailyknockout.blogspot.com/

Nomi Lubin said...

Found you thru a comment on House Next Door. You're funny.

MF said...

Hey, Tray - any chance of an mp3 of Last Two by State Prop? I can't find a damned mp3 of that shit anywhere.

tray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tray said...

This seems to be the version of Last Two w/o Beans:

http://usershare.net/ucp5vdw0cmer

And your blog is very good, by the way. Mine isn't.

MF said...

Naw, dawg, and i'm not the only UK blogger to be all up on PayTray like that, either.

The Jay/Hawks comparison post was a personal favourite (A Million And One Questions extended mix and Where I'm From = Red River and Rio Bravo, obviously).

Thanks for the mp3.

tray said...

"A Million And One Questions extended mix and Where I'm From = Red River and Rio Bravo, obviously"

I need to see Rio Bravo a few more times before its greatness entirely seeps into me, at the moment I'm a bit fonder of the good parts of Red River, before Joanne Dru shows up. Although I think it's a mistake to look at Red River the way most people (also erroneously but less obviously so) look at Suspicion - oh why did he have to ruin this dark film with a happy ending. Wayne can't kill Clift, but still, the sudden switch to a not very good screwball comedy on the prairie is so jarring. Anyway, I can't see the connection between Where I'm From and Rio Bravo, although one could analogize Wayne's loyalty to Dean Martin to Jay's belief in Memphis Bleek on 'Coming of Age'... you know, "that's what I got." When it comes down to it though, if you were actually going to look for Hawksian traits in rappers, I would look elsewhere. Like where are the homosocial relationships?